little things you deserve

Last weekend, I finally read Lena Dunham's book Not That Kind of Girl after putting it on my short list back in October! I love reading, but have been in a literary dry spell—and it feels good when something quick and engaging gets you back on track.

Overall, I loved that Dunham is a smart writer who doesn't turn her back on intelligent language and precise word choice in this age of blogging that celebrates "coffee talk" as the only way to connect with millennials and the digitally savvy. That's more my style, too, so I feel like I have a champion in the real-life Hannah Horvath. Ha.

There were some funny anecdotes—and some disturbing ones—but what made it such a captivating read is what makes Girls such a hit: relevancy. It's comforting to read about friendship and career and issues all twentysomethings experience from an actual twentysomething. One line really hit the nail on the head: in a chapter on "platonic bed sharing," Dunham describes who it is and is not OK to share a bed with. In the "not" column: "Anyone who doesn't make you feel like sharing a bed is the coziest and most sensual activity they could possibly be undertaking. Now, look over at the person beside you. Do they meet these criteria? If not, remove them or remove yourself. You're better off alone."

Amen, sister. I have definitely experienced that feeling and definitely been aware of it at the time, but didn't immediately remove myself. Don't hold onto something just because it's worked in the past if it isn't working now. Being comfortable with someone, I think, and having certain memories together can blur the reality of the present. And—speaking as a single girl—it's important to remember your kick-ass qualities, even if it's taking a while for the right person to recognize them.

So in the spirit of knowing your worth and feeling as fabulous as @badgalriri in pink feathers, I rounded up a few fun, #treatyoself things that YOU deserve! Because—it's a Wednesday, and you're pretty great.

1 | Dangling Geometric Earrings 2 | Josie Maran Argan Oil Body Butter

3 | Marc Jacobs Mod Noir Fragrance 4 | Agave Hair Oil Treatment

5 | Tom Ford Shower Gel 6 | Dillion Ring

7 | Ultimate Nourishing Honey Mask 8 | 'Baies' scented candle 

9 | Nightcap Overnight Hair Perfector

feature image via ELLE

song of summer

It's officially SUMMER! I trust you're already knee-deep in cucumber margaritas, bikinis and all the best things the season brings. But along with a signature drink and appropriate poolside wear, your summer needs a soundtrack. I caught Good Morning America while working from home on Friday morning and Robin Roberts & co. were trying to declare Adam Lambert's "Ghost Town" the "song of summer." No offense to the American Idol alum, but it wasn't really doing it for me.

Ryn Weaver's "OctaHate," however—hell yes. I have to give my younger sister credit for introducing me to this one. The song went viral last June after the California-born singer posted it to her Soundcloud account, and she released the full album just last week. "OctaHate" is so infectious. It's the kind of song that makes my shoulders and head roll and bounce crazily and unbidden—you can't help but dance. 

I'm excited to see her at Triple Rock next month. If you're in Minneapolis, looks like there's still tickets! And in case you're behind in the cocktail and swimsuit categories, here's a friendly kick in the pants (official Swimsuit Edit coming soon)! Happy summerrrrrrrr!

Cucumber Jalapeño Margarita | French Bikini Top

Bikini Bottom | One-Piece Swimsuit | Ryn Weaver album

bill cunningham documentary

I know the Bill Cunningham documentary is old news for people who like fashion. But even if you're not a sartorial savant, I recommend checking it out over the weekend. I watched it Wednesday night on Netflix and was so touched by the original street style photographer's humble nature, simple lifestyle (a marvel given the subject of his snaps and the bragging rights he could capitalize on) and all-consuming passion for his craft. Capturing colorful New Yorkers on film is literally his life. His lack of romantic relationships and perceived solitude was sad in one sense, but also made me reconsider unconventional life paths. Getting married and having kids isn't a universal formula for the kind of smile Cunningham bikes through Soho wearing. He's undeniably happy every day, and if he has that, what's there to be sad about? Hope you have a great weekend!

via 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

in defense of "beach reads"

I've had a couple of uncharacteristically lazy weekends in a row (which I think summer requires). Last Sunday that meant pajamas from sunrise to sunset and a paperback on my balcony for an engrossing five-or-so hours. I was hesitant to pick up The Vacationers because of all the "beach read" buzz it's amassed, and I'd just come off an unpleasant experience with the seemingly similar Nantucket Sisters (I received it free at a promotional event, but found it unbearably cliche and elementary and not worth the thriftiness). After laboring through Devil in the White City for six months and striking out with the Nantucket novel, I was craving a light but satisfying (slightly salacious?) read. Emma Straub's fictional tale of a family vacationing in Spain during a particularly tumultuous time was all of the above. Despite having an "easy" plot, it was well-written and dimensional with strong characters I wanted to know, and I finished it in three sittings (read more here). And now, propelled, I'm back on the bookworm bandwagon with gusto, a few pages deep into Crazy Rich Asians (which I can tell is going to be fun) and the Zelda Fitzgerald novel (I love the biographical concept) on deck. So. Moral of the story:  

Not all beach reads are bad (some are).
It's OK to like the light stuff. 

Sometimes it just takes a beach read to get your groove back.

emmys prep: julia louis-dreyfus

image via

When I meet new people and they ask what I do, they inevitably make either a Mad Men comment or say, "Oh, so you're Elaine!?", neither of which association I mind. But, especially after having read this article, I delight in being (however loosely associated) a twenty-first century Elaine Benes. I've always liked Julia Louis-Dreyfus—chiefly because of her role on the hilarious sitcom, which I came to know through the robust laughter emanating from my dad as he watched in our family's darkened living room late at night. I most admire that she's smart (and don't know why it's surprising whenever I discover someone who stands in front of a camera for a living is so sharp). The actress has maintained—in fact, escalated—her career since Seinfeld fame, an impressive feat after playing such a recognizable, defining role. She's the only actress to win three Emmys for three different comedy series and holds the record for nominations as Best Actress in a Comedy. It's a long article, so if you don't have the time (or stamina) to read it all, here's what stuck with me: JLD's persistent ambition despite already having "made it." An excerpt:

Louis-Dreyfus does not have to work this hard. Thanks to years of very public squabbling among the principals over Seinfeld money, most people have an exalted view of how much she earned from the show, but it did, in fact, make her independently wealthy. And then there's her family's money. The Internet has decided that her father, William Louis-Dreyfus, who works in commodities, is a billionaire. When I bring this up, she says, "He's a very wealthy man, but he's not a billionaire. There are no billions. And I'm not crying poverty or anything—and that's the other problem, because this is a very unsavory subject—but there is a perception out there that I'm, like, a Rothschild or something." She rolls her eyes. "If only." A mordant laugh. "I guess." 

When I met Louis-Dreyfus at The Four Seasons, I explained to her that we were here to look back on the great year she has had. "Oh, I see," she said with a gimlet-eyed smirk. "So we're just resting on our laurels, in other words." Another Louis-Dreyfus gem—the subtle, ironic comeback in the midst of a throwaway moment of small talk—but also perhaps a window into the very particular plight of the wildly successful sitcom star: The money rolls in, while the episodes play over and over. (Including almost every weeknight, at midnight at Channel 11.)

You and I and most people reading this aren't sitting on millions that auto-replenish with every re-run. But we've all achieved varying levels of success that make it easy to slow our speed and stop trying as hard. The conversation between the actress and her interviewer is a gentle nudge to keep on pedaling, and to find something internal that motivates and fulfills (and you can tell by JLD's probing questions about Chelsea Clinton that she is invested in her latest project, the character and the whole Washington machine)—because if the only goal is money, what keeps you going once you've got it?

Julia Louis-Dreyfus knows what's up (and I'm thrilled that there seem to be parts of Elaine alive and well in the talented star). I'm officially carving out time to watch VEEP before next month's Emmy Awards (see the full list of nominees here); in the meantime, tell me: Do you have a TV career twin? What's your favorite Julia Louis-Dreyfus role? Favorite Seinfeld episode? (I thought so.) To wrap up, one of Elaine's finest moments. Have a laugh-your-head-off day.

texas forever

Hey y’all. Sorry, must be the residents of Dillon, Texas rubbing off on me. It’s pretty chilly in Wisconsin, and I know it’s not the only part of the country seeing record-low temps and tons of snow. So I’ve been spending the weekend so far getting deeply involved in NBC’s Friday Night Lights and suggest you do the same. It aired between 2006 and 2011, but I was in college for most of that span and not really camped out on the couch as much as I am these days, so I totally missed it back then. Anyway, I recently finished Breaking Bad (every emotion) and the high school football drama is a nice change of pace from the super-intensity of meth, murder and destruction that is Walter White’s life. Without knowing anything about it I assumed FNL would be an updated Dawson’s Creek – obviously, with a little more pigskin. But I’m only on episode 7 and it’s proving extremely dynamic and emotional. And about a lot more than touchdowns. The documentary-style filming and close-up camera angles give everything a very real feel. The dialogue & relationships are true to life, the scenarios refreshingly relatable, the scenes a captivating mix of heavy and light, heartbreaking and uplifting. If that’s not incentive enough to queue it up on Netflix, here's what is: Tim Riggins. I almost died when he fed Lyla with a fork. Happy drooling viewing!

haim starter kit

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. My mom and I spent the weekend shopping, cooking and going a little crazy in preparation for her holiday open house. I take credit for the Bloody Mary shrimp and tortellini skewers, and give credit for this morning’s headache to the champagne punch. Hopefully you’re cozied up with family by now, with perhaps the relief of one Christmas party under your belt, but if driving over the river and through the woods today like my little sister, do yourself (and your travel stress) a solid and download these three songs: The Wire, Don’t Save Me, Forever – all by Haim. I know it’s supposed to be an uninterrupted stream of Jingle Bells at this stage in the game, but who can listen to the holly jolly station non-stop? I would miss this badass band of sisters too much. Like the mushroom crostini served last night, I just can’t get enough. Safe travels to all and SEE YOU TONIGHT, Alex! We’ve got the wine and snacks ready. 

Schoolin' Life

Happy Monday! I cover 90 miles in my daily commute so a good soundtrack is essential – especially on Mondays. It’s a short week ahead so I’m already flying high, but any other day this song is a lifesaver. My friend recently texted me the title. Well, Becca knows best. "Schoolin' Life" explodes with a booty-shaking '80s dance beat that trivializes morning traffic, and Bey's growling lyrics inspire you to tackle the day like you’re in the “Single Ladies” leotard. Below, us schoolin’ life as freshmen at Iowa. Let's party til the fire marshal shuts this sucker down.

Kennedy Women + Rag & Bone Midnight Patrol Pants

I recently read the fascinating story of the Kennedy wives, “Jackie, Ethel, Joan” by J. Randy Taraborrelli. After only a few pages, I developed an admiration for all three women – for their strength, what they endured, and how they persevered – that I’m pocketing and taking with me as I navigate the dawn of adulthood and face the ups and downs common among humanity – American royalty or not.

Jackie stands out for her conviction, independence and poise.

“She wanted everything that was the finest in music, drama, ballet, opera, poetry . . . and set a tone that would encourage culture around this country.”

“She had her own life, she made her own interests, and she created this atmosphere about herself.”

“She was a movie star without ever having made a movie, and the public was more captivated by her than ever.”

Ethel’s embrace of the Kennedy political machine, and enthusiasm for family and fun are unrivaled.

“She really wanted people to be happy. She set a tone for things, and wanted to surround herself and Bobby with a sense of gaiety. She was fun.”

Joan’s eventual triumph over passivity and a dismissive husband is empowering.

“I believe that private time is growth time . . . having a camaraderie and private time is equivalent to having a full life.”

In a time when I’m counting down days and constantly looking ahead to the next thing, Jackie’s holistic perspective on experience resonates with, comforts and encourages me not to wish time away. Good and bad don't occur in isolation; there will never be prolonged existence of one without the other.

She said, “I have been through a lot and have suffered a great deal. But I have had lots of happy moments, as well. The good, the bad, hardship, the joy, the tragedy, love and happiness are all interwoven into one single, indescribable whole that is called life. You cannot separate the good and the bad. And perhaps there is no need to do so, either.”

There are profound truths to be taken from the Kennedys, but they were merely mortals. And like all women, Jackie, Ethel and Joan wore clothes. So along with the life lessons, I absorbed a bit on fashion. The context above serves to convey that my respect for the women – and Jackie in particular -- is based in something deeper than a superficial adoration of her signature oversized sunglasses. It is because of this appreciation that I am giving any attention to her manner of dress.

The fact that Jackie wore harem pants made me reconsider slouchy trousers. Rag & Bone’s Midnight Patrol Pants have a loose fit that hints of harem, but aren’t excessively baggy or hoodlumish. Floral silk-georgette feminizes the edgy pair, demonstrating versatility and suggesting that beneath a hard shell is a soft center. Pajama-inspired pants are trending right now, so seize the opportunity to be simultaneously comfortable and cutting-edge. Pulling these off shows confidence worthy of the First Lady and will send your fashion cred soaring.

In the spirit of Jackie and living a well-rounded (level-headed but at times lavish) life, I assembled both dress-down and dress-up looks. No matter the hour, you’ll be photo-ready and regal, just as the Queen of Camelot always was.

dress down.

one. // two. // three. 

dress up.

one. // two. // three. 

Scott Schuman's The Sartorialist

Over leisurely lunches and on idle nights, I frequently find myself scrolling through The Sartorialist. The draw is not only the obvious fashion stimulation, but the artistic window it offers into individual experience.

I've long felt a magnetism toward the "now," the pulse of present time  – it's why I love reality TV and majored in journalism. Scott Schuman's snapshots essentially assemble a graphic newspaper, wordlessly reporting what's interrupting, what's inspiring, what's happening around the globe any arbitrary, fleeting moment.

Schuman

To book lovers' delight, the digital collection was first published in 2009; the sophomore deeper dive, this year. Even if you couldn't care less about women in work boots or the merits of sockless loafers, the sharp photographs, bound together in bright paperback, are provocative revelations of human habit. 

 

If You’re Thinking About...… Culture, universally relevant and perpetually in style, Schuman’s process and product are vibrant studies.

"Anything Could Happen" -- Ellie Goulding

The lead single from Ellie Goulding's second studio album begins with fearless yet gentle chirrups that startle you into an immersion that is both threatening and promising — a teetering that sustains throughout the electro-indie epic my sister recommended to me recently. I was initially unmoved, but after subsequent playbacks, deeply ensnared.

Lyrics that beat forward in restrained but building fervor are chased by a pulsing, almost piercing, refrain that is a transcendental surrender. Accented gaps for air and temporary dimming of background instrumentals suggest real-life stop-and-go and an alluded secret-passing that underlines sacredness.

The repetitive phrase that rounds out the experience is made more powerful and ethos-exposing by the grittiness that is heretofore conspicuously nonexistent. The line conveys unmistakable ambiguity, but with a resignation and release that is propelling.

Swept away on the wispy clouds that are Goulding's voice til the very end, you'll start subliminally trusting anything could happen.

Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Monday I was overtaken by a major book-buying binge. I think watching the On the Road movie trailer [hitting theaters in December] was the catalyst. After viewing the clip, I looked into the Jack Kerouac novel and my shock that I, a former Lit major at one of the country’s most writing-centric universities, had not yet cracked the binding on such an American classic that, according to the back cover, has “changed anyone who has ever picked it up” grew at an alarmingly panicked pace.

I had to remedy the situation immediately.

I rushed to Barnes & Noble in the middle of the workday to snag the paperback and, before departing, had bought four more. One was the result of a BOGO promo, but the other three were classics I couldn’t let elude me one second longer: two Fitzgeralds and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. My professors would be proud.

  

Before the abovementioned bender, I had just started reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower [available at Amazon]. In my hunger to start the next in my newly-acquired lineup, I finished the quick and engrossing 200-pager that night.

The book’s theme is participation versus passivity in the form of letters written throughout Charlie’s freshman year of high school. I won't write a review, but certain fragments from the candid correspondence stayed with me longer than the 24 hours it took to ingest.

I’ve reprinted them below – musings we should all remember, through adolescence and beyond, as we attempt to recollect that feeling of being infinite: 

 

“When I was driving home, I just thought about the word ‘special.’ And I thought the last person who said that about me was my aunt Helen. I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes.”

∞

“I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people. Maybe that is what makes people ‘participate.’”

∞

“I feel great! I really mean it. I have to remember this for the next time I’m having a terrible week. Have you ever done that? You feel really bad, and then it goes away, and you don’t know why, but I try to remind myself when I feel great like this that there will be another terrible week coming someday, so I should store up as many great details as I can, so during the next terrible week, I can remember those details and believe that I’ll feel great again.”

Dancing on My Own + Girls

After the 1997 breakout hit “Show Me Love,” a few tracks from Swedish pop singer Robyn found their way back onto my iPod circa 2009. “Be Mine!” and “Handle Me” have a techno dance energy I’ll always associate with my NYC summer.

I didn’t download anything more by the bubblegum-voiced artist until a few weeks ago. Along with the rest of the world, I fell in love with “Dancing on My Own” when Hannah and Marnie grooved around to it on HBO’s Girls.

Before a backdrop of twinkling electronica, Robyn sings of not being seen, but refusing to let the loneliness stop her beat. I like the number, but I think it's the poignant placement in the small screen storyline and ability to define – all at once – the struggles, triumphs, fears and hopes that face us, and the very heart of the show, that makes such an impact.

Next time you have a free Friday, hunker down and catch up on the critically acclaimed, laugh-out-loud Girls. Like Hannah muses, sometimes you lose some – and you lose some. But I guarantee you’ll enjoy it.

“Tomorrow is Gonna Be Better” – Joshua Radin

Joshua Radin’s album The Rock and the Tide is one of my favorites, so I was keyed up when he released a new collection of songs July 31.

Less than 2 weeks later, “Tomorrow is Gonna Be Better” is already an Underwater stand-out.

The contrast of the guitar’s deeper notes against Radin’s soft, romantic voice immediately sweeps you up and holds you tight for the whole song, evoking an emotional need to know what words he’ll say next. The soothing acoustic strumming and heart-melting vocals create a relaxing melody that is still – magically – quietly buoyant.

Natural, uncontrived rhymes sprinkled throughout are a delicate kiss on seeking ears. The poignant message of enduring hardship because the future holds promise is one anyone can connect to, and Radin’s delivery makes it seem he’s singing directly to you [and only you].

Play this gentle song while drifting to sleep or add to your make-out playlist – an applicable soundtrack for both scenarios.

Other Joshua Radin favorites: We Are Only Getting Better, Only You, The Rock and the Tide, I Missed You (Acoustic), Paperweight

The New York Times 36 Hours: 150 Weekends in the USA & Canada

edited by Barbara Ireland

My ideal home would have colorful, hardcover coffee table books of all sizes stacked eclectically throughout.  There are several I currently yearn to add to my gradually-developing collection, including The New York Times 36 Hours: 150 Weekends in the USA & Canada.

Traveling to far-off, foreign destinations is so glamorized that we often overlook the beauty and interest of the vast country that is our home. The concept of finding unexplored treasures just around the corner in Iowan farmland or the frenzied street corners of Chicago infinitely intrigues me.

Through practical yet packed itineraries, the flexibound guide directs readers how to experience the full range of opportunity and personality of cities and towns across the U.S. in an abbreviated 36-hour period. The book is an anthology of the popular column that has run weekly in The Times since 2002.  With full-color photographs and maps, 36 Hours is an interactive work of art, inspiration and call to action.

“Ho Hey” – The Lumineers

The latest song I can’t get enough of is this catchy and moving tune from The Lumineers. The song caught my attention as the background music in a commercial; that small clip of melody was enough to persuade me to purchase the band’s entire album on iTunes.

The emotional, rustic voice of the lead singer is punctuated with strong rhythmic beats, italicized sweet strumming and contagious hand-clapping [or what sounds like it]. In combination, this makes for a hypnotizing medley of sounds that is a treat to hear time and again.

It seems like sweet serendipity that The Lumineers are playing next weekend at the Basilica Block Party, a 2-day outdoor concert downtown Minneapolis, so soon after my happy discovery. Can’t wait to hear this trio live!

Other picks from the album:

·         Big Parade

·         Stubborn Love